The insomnia of a certain unnamed friend has rubbed off on me. My last night of finals studying has turned into an all-nighter. I can't sleep because I'm too busy facebooking and John Mayer-ing to finish studying. Basically, I'm gunna fail my exams. But, the good news is... I finally picked a college. Vanderbilt it is. Certain other unnamed friends don't approve of this decision. But I don't like that unnamed friend anyways because he/she is a jerk who wishes cruel things upon my non-existent children. If/When I have children, I will peacefully birth them with the assurance that no matter how horrible they may be, there's at least one other he/she in the world that's worse off.

Any positive comments regarding my college decision are welcome. Others who desire to wish ill things upon me can contact the aforementioned he/she.